Just another day. Although I seemed to have lost time. Kind of strange, when that's all I seem to have. Well, I have a wealth of, per se. Strange, it doesn't feel like I'm running out of something, but there is a definite yearning. Maybe I'm looking too hard. Perhaps I need something palpable. Seldom do I ask for material things. That too, even more so rare will I even ask anything of anyone. I'm not sure if I am at all, honestly. Maybe it's time for a trophy. That works...
I suppose it is in fact time for not so much a change, but an addition. Things are statistically good right now. Plenty of time, money, and knowledge to do what I fancy. What to be added though? A record contract? Ha. A woman, a car? Maybe that's too fleeting. Maybe a permanent fixture? A tattoo of some sorts is all that will become then. That won't work. Too forgettable. Not necessarily meaningless, but in time, it's less of that damn trophy.
Well, maybe the conflict is there? Not what to get, but to find what has a lasting and redeeming value! Such an item exists for every man! Well, at least one kind of pacification. However, that puts me at the beginning. If there is one per man, then indeed, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. So much for the trophy.
It is said, "To each his own," and yet also, "All the world's a stage." Odd. If we are all to follow our own paths in life and choose whatever we want, that's great, but what about the consequences? Being subject to everyone's critique. Giving a damn about it???? Maybe it's not that simple. I know I like comedy, whereas another may like romance. I would assume then, "to each their own stage." Go to a forum that pleases you and then enjoy. Hurrah... Of course, that still holds the idea of those all there in said forum have their damn opinions and might even so be more acculturated and familiar at least, if anything, with your newly found style.
Michelangelo's biography, in dealing with the Sistine Chapel is called "The Agony And The Ecstasy." A man's true triumph of and for his art for all the world to stare in awe. Maybe that's it! Toil enough for a universal pleasure and the sought after trophy, appreciation, and happiness are all achieved! It's too bad that if you ask 10 people to name another work of Michelangelo's, 7 won't know and 2 will think he's a cartoon turtle.
So what is the answer? A grand work? Many works? So many that some appeal to a few and some appeal to others? Something for everyone!?!? But that may take credit away from the preverbal "Renaissance Man," as he may even be labeled as a flake. More of that giving a damn concept. All this to find happiness and something new?
Then again, what do I have to prove? Those first 3 letters haunt us all. P - R - O. Prove. Professional, production, proactive, even prowess. Ahh yes, dominance. "Survival of the fittest," the modified law of the land from old Darwin theorists. However, social Darwinism lends itself to a world of ideals. Maybe, just maybe, we're all stuck in a hierarchy of a social circle, and ladder case. Some go in a circle, and some climb the ladder.
Is that to say this whole showmanship of a person is to appease an inner circle? Or do we just climb the ladder and eventually leave the circle we're in to move to another? Almost, like an upgrade? Or simply, that dreaded word: change.
This almost makes it seem that there is too much to do in one's life if even so the smallest quest of a new pleasure has to be so planned out. Could we all have dismissed the Marxist view too soon? I mean, without altering it... Maybe the fabled classless society wouldn't be Utopian, but the idea works. Look at that, changing and ideas again! Morphing?
We know that all cannot be equal, and may the Gods damn it, we better not be. Hell, that's why we're trying to improve ourselves. There it is; improve - not prove - ourselves. I suppose no one thought of that before the equity of Communism worked on paper.
Alas the strife of excelsior and it's patronizing ways. Ever rising; more lofty indeed. Just like Stalin found out, perfection isn't a goal or even close to realistic idea. Perfect means whole without deviation; 100% pure and balanced. Pure and balanced? That's a bit of an oxymoron. To lull someone into thinking and then believing that can be done is pointless, thus we move on.
Rule by love or rule by fear. Caesar took the throne as Mussolini gained dominion. Neither had the right balance. Ambition did both men in. Is that to say we cannot have aspirations? Well, being that one was a megalomaniacal tyrant and the other was just an over pretentious madman, let's not consider them. But still, they changed things. Made old new and stale fresh. Ahh! To replace an item or idea. To switch isn't the answer, but to amend or just alter? That's the whole redeeming factor again. Almost like the cash crop of the mental game. To pay for it's own weight in gold. A measure of value. There, just identified, is another standard. Gold.
The answer to this question, I cannot say. Mainly because I don't know what will satisfy or simply pacify. A true thinker is always on the move, not forgetting nor regretting, but always learning, and taking that step past learning, and then applying. They are seldom content for too long. To find an answer of what could be infinite possibilities in our finite system insists that there is probably an end. Whether you want to reach that end is a different question. Sadly, my own end has come here. For it is just another day.